The Perfect Family

Last evening my girlfriend and I had a conversation about the perfect family.

It seems that the family holiday celebrations were marred by a conflict between two of their daughters, resulting in one of them leaving in a huff.

I miss my friend Nancy Pyne. Whenever things like this happened to me she was always there with insight and a laugh to remind me that my family was normal. Nancy, where are you?? (I know, on the other side of the continent dealing with your own version of family fun)

I reminded my friend that a perfect family happens in perfect moments. If you string enough of those moments together you can have memories of the perfect family.

Every family has growing pains as you add new spouses and babies. I like to refer to this phenomenon as the family stew pot. Each new face that joins the family brings their own spice of life. Each spice needs time in the family stew pot to steep and meld until the stew is tastey and delicious with the mellow flavor of slow cooked deliciousness.

In most families, mom is the master cook. It takes a lot of love and patience as she tries to blend all of the spices into the bubbling pot. Sometimes she will worry that the new added spice is too bold for her wonderful stew, but in time, with plenty of love and stirring, the spice will settle in and make the whole so much more delicious than it was before.

As I have spoken to a few friends this week about their holiday celebrations, especially in our new role of grandmother, I have heard phrases such as "Happy Chaos" and "sad affair" (this is from a friend with 30 grandchildren under the age of 12--meaning a little one was always crying over the sad state of life).

Overall my friends have agreed that it was hard work that was worth the effort. Keeping a family strong when you add in marriages and new babies is hard work for the grandparents, but in time it will turn into a memory of the perfect family get together. Small perfect moments strung together with the thread of memory creates the perfect family we all dream about.

I encouraged my friend to write a letter to her daughters reminding them of how much they both are loved. I encouraged her to give it a little time and prayer. Family, it is the place where we feel at ease to let it all out, testing to see if we are still loved, even with our outlandish actions. The answer is yes, there is family love, but sometimes it needs a little time and distance to see the beauty of each family member that comes together to make the perfect family.

The perfect family--created one perfect moment at a time, surrounded by numerous moments that may not be quite so perfect--such is life.