The Perfect Family

Last evening my girlfriend and I had a conversation about the perfect family.

It seems that the family holiday celebrations were marred by a conflict between two of their daughters, resulting in one of them leaving in a huff.

I miss my friend Nancy Pyne. Whenever things like this happened to me she was always there with insight and a laugh to remind me that my family was normal. Nancy, where are you?? (I know, on the other side of the continent dealing with your own version of family fun)

I reminded my friend that a perfect family happens in perfect moments. If you string enough of those moments together you can have memories of the perfect family.

Every family has growing pains as you add new spouses and babies. I like to refer to this phenomenon as the family stew pot. Each new face that joins the family brings their own spice of life. Each spice needs time in the family stew pot to steep and meld until the stew is tastey and delicious with the mellow flavor of slow cooked deliciousness.

In most families, mom is the master cook. It takes a lot of love and patience as she tries to blend all of the spices into the bubbling pot. Sometimes she will worry that the new added spice is too bold for her wonderful stew, but in time, with plenty of love and stirring, the spice will settle in and make the whole so much more delicious than it was before.

As I have spoken to a few friends this week about their holiday celebrations, especially in our new role of grandmother, I have heard phrases such as "Happy Chaos" and "sad affair" (this is from a friend with 30 grandchildren under the age of 12--meaning a little one was always crying over the sad state of life).

Overall my friends have agreed that it was hard work that was worth the effort. Keeping a family strong when you add in marriages and new babies is hard work for the grandparents, but in time it will turn into a memory of the perfect family get together. Small perfect moments strung together with the thread of memory creates the perfect family we all dream about.

I encouraged my friend to write a letter to her daughters reminding them of how much they both are loved. I encouraged her to give it a little time and prayer. Family, it is the place where we feel at ease to let it all out, testing to see if we are still loved, even with our outlandish actions. The answer is yes, there is family love, but sometimes it needs a little time and distance to see the beauty of each family member that comes together to make the perfect family.

The perfect family--created one perfect moment at a time, surrounded by numerous moments that may not be quite so perfect--such is life.

True Christmas

This Christmas was a bit disjointed for me.

It started last fall when my daughter hurt her back and needed my care for her and her children. We went day by day, hoping each treatment and the bed rest would bring less pain--and soon--4 months had passed.

I added a trip to Indiana to care for my son's family and took my mother to Germany for her first trip abroad. While in Germany I enjoyed the time with my daughter as the Christmas season began in earnest.

The next thing I knew it was December 15th and not a gift had been bought.

I spent a good deal of the season rocking fretful children, softly singing Christmas carols as a lullaby.

I gathered children around me and read holiday stories to ready them for bed.

I looked at trees trimmed with memories in each of my children's homes.

I sat and held hands with my sweetheart as we watched a movie or two that portrayed a heart felt message.

I drove down the streets of town looking at pretty lights in amazement of the magical transformation they make in the season.

Too soon the calendar stated that the time for preparation was past and it was time to sit and reflect.

It was not a year for wonderful home made gifts crafted with love. It was more of a checkbook Christmas which could only hint of my love for those that I call dear.

But, a magical Christmas it was.

I was able to see all of my children and grandchildren during the season. I was able to hold them and kiss them and hug them.

I played games with the children and cooked tastey food that I hope will make a memory far lasting than a trinket I might buy or bauble I might craft.

My daughter received a clear bill of health from her doctor. Though she is tired and weak, in time she will be strong again.

My husband is working his last few days in preparation for retirement in the first days of the new year. We have worked our entire married life for this exciting event, I am looking forward to this wonderful change in our lives.

I am thankful for the birth of my Savior, for his life and atoning gift for me and you. The world is a sweeter place during the Christmas season. I am glad I was able to spend the season rocking little children, looking at the sparkle in their eyes as the magic of Christmas unfolded with each new day.

I hope you were able to make a Christmas memory that will last longer than the falling needles of your once beautiful tree.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

Car Seat Adventures

Lately I have had my 1 year old grand daughter staying with me while her mama recuperates from back surgery. She is a jewel of a child, always happy, but, I have been reminded that it is much easier to have and take care of children while you are young.

The car seat adventures were many:

Because taking a one year old with me is not my norm, making sure we had a proper car seat in the car of choice for the adventure we were setting out on was a daily ritual.

After finally getting the car seat into the proper car and securely strapped in it was time to strap in the child--this became a daily adventure as our Christmas weather this year fluctuated from a high that dipped to 40 then just days later soared to 70 necessitating the need of a coat or light sweater depending on the day--thus making the seat belt adjustment over the coat or non coat necessary.

One day after almost finishing this half hour ritual I noticed an aroma coming from the back seat that required a return trip inside to remove the coat, tights and diaper only to put them all back on the baby once again.

We went out for an excursion around the neighborhood one evening to view the lights while carolers loudly sang from the back of our truck. It was a fun evening that we all enjoyed very much, until it was time to remove the car seat again. My husband was at work most days while I played the car seat ballet. On this evening he attempted to help me, not understanding how the restraint system worked he attached the straps to a hinge on the back seat of the truck. When we tried to extract the seat it was an impossible task. He got out the screw drivers and removed the hinges, got out the pliers to pull and tug at the restraint, still no luck. He is a full sized man and our back seat in the truck is a mini sized area. Eventually with brute force he finally dislocated the seat from it's secure position, bending the restraint and his back as he did so.

After a clear bill of health from her doctor, our daughter and her husband came to retrieve their youngest child 2 days before Christmas. It was with a bit of sadness as we said farewell to the child and a lot of joy as we removed the car seat from our car for the last time.

I do not mind booster chairs in the back seat, they do not take up much room and make it easy for the child to see out of the window. Car seats though, are on my list of necessary evils that make the world go around. Ada, I miss you, but I must say that I do not miss our daily adventures with your back seat throne.

Security

From Germany to the States took almost 18 hours. Tired and worn out before needing to wade through security one last time, we marched on.

We had just finished passport control and found our way to terminal 3. As we placed our items on the conveyor belt two men jumped in between me and my mother. Mom got through security just fine, the two men were struggling. It was my turn and my items were rolling along when TSA decided to pull me out of line and let me go through the newfangled security machine that can see EVERYTHING.

My health condition requires that I keep my stress low, eat regularly and get enough sleep--none of which were happening on this particular day.

With my arms over my head I tried to stand still as the modern wonder scanned my tooth fillings. I had my hair pinned up on top of my head with plastic clips (to minimize security stress) and the modern "see-all" did not like it. Soon a lady had her hands in my hair, poking and prodding to see what I had hidden in the rats nest she was creating. FUN, it was not.

I was visibly distressed with the poking and gouging from the lady wearing gloves that had been in how many other peoples hair while another TSA lady shouted at me that they could do a full pat down if that is what I wanted.

Now I know that two grandmas coming back from a Christmas holiday with the grandkids are truly a security risk to watch out for. I travel frequently and know how to do security, but these new machines, after a long day, while still facing still another few hours, was just a little too much.

As I look back on the experience I think the dirty gloves and pokey fingers, while being shouted at, were my undoing. I could not get home fast enough to wash my hair.

After the near tear experience at security we walked down the concourse to find our gates. As we looked down the long hall lovely Christmas decorations greeted us. Rich full garlands draped the arched ceiling. The garlands were wrapped in shining red ornaments and ribbons. All of a sudden we were reminded of the joy of the season and why we decided to travel at this time of year.

It was a great trip full of wonderful memories. After 24 hours of travel to reach my home that hot bath felt really good.

Christmas Magic

Begin with 2 parents who are lacking in sleep and quiet time

Add 5 children under 10 who are excited about everything

Mix in one basset hound puppy who is almost adult size (but has no manners because she is still in training)

Toss in a Christmas tree, ornaments, toys, blankets, snowboots, gloves and scarfs

Sprinkle liberally with lots of good food to eat (most of which lands on the floor)

For good measure fold in a grandma and great grandma who are a little jet lagged

This is Christmas Magic at it's best--
Crazy and Fun

Giving Thanks

As I have faced numerous family challenges over the last few weeks I am especially aware of my blessings.

I am blessed to share my life with a wonderful man that I love and adore, it is a privilege to be married and that relationship deserves my full attention. I like sharing my time with him and am looking forward to the opportunity of spending all hours of the day together as we enter a new stage of life.

I am thankful to be strong enough to take care of the responsibilities that are mine. My hips are healing and with a little nerve medicine I have the mental strength to deal with most of my daily challenges.

I have 6 children who are happily married and gainfully employed. They face their challenges with prayer, faith and a can-do attitude. They have blessed me with 17 grandchildren who are healthy and happy. Of course each day is filled with growth opportunities for all, but they take each bump in stride and keep trying. My family makes me happy.

I have a comfortable home. It is always nice to go home. The septic system decided not to work this week, but it waited until the Thanksgiving get together was over. All is better now thanks to professionals who know how to do their job. I am thankful for modern conveniences like running water, electricity and appliances such as the dishwasher and refrigerator. These things make housekeeping a much easier job for me than it was for my grandmothers.

I am thankful for modern travel and communications that keep me close to my children and parents who live far away. I am glad I can pick up the phone and call whenever I want. I can get on a plane and within several hours find myself on the other side of the world where 5 of my grandchildren eagerly await my visit. I can get in my car and in a short while be at the home of any of my other grandchildren as well. The distances are small and keep family close even when work opportunities mean we live far from each other.

I am thankful for modern medicine that can help mend a broken back, and repair shoulders, hips, feet, belly buttons and teeth as needed. We live in an era when it is relatively easy to be healthy, all it takes is a little patience (hang in there Cara).

I am thankful for an eternal perspective and the spiritual awareness that there is a God in Heaven who loves His children on earth and He wants us to be happy. I am thankful to have the freedom to worship as I please. I am thankful for children who were open to learn from their parents and recognized truth. I am thankful they are building strong homes where truth is taught to my grandchildren.

I am thankful for good parents who taught me well and provided me with all that I needed while growing up. They supported me and helped me to grow. They continue to show love and encouragement as I go through the experiences of life.

I have a lot to be thankful for. Life is good and worth living with a smile.

Treasures

I have had visiting grandchildren almost every weekend this last month. Sometimes it is fun to stay at home and watch a movie and go with grandma and grandpa's everyday style. But, sometimes it is fun to mix it up and do something different.

We decided to do the something different lately. We ventured to the flea market with a few grandchildren to see what we could see.

The children were amazed with the treasures that were to be discovered there.

We told each child that the goal of the day was to find the best deal for $1.

We looked and looked at do-dads and thing-a-ma-bobs. We pointed out items that were popular when grandma and grandpa were children, things their parents used to like to play with and items that my grandparents might have used on a daily basis.

We found good things to eat and plenty of sights to see. Some of the granddaughters found necklaces, a grandson found a special book, some fast miniature cars and cast iron figures were among the choices. Grandma found some vintage hats and white day gloves and Grandpa found some comfortable socks.

When we lived in Delaware we were tight on money and chose to go to the flea market for weekend entertainment quite often. We would each have a dollar and look for the best deal of the day. My husband once got a whole box of combs, we came home with a box of juice glasses, we combined our dollars one day and got a floor lamp. My best dollar buy was a pewter teapot.

I have plenty of furniture such as dressers and end tables that came to us from the flea market. Most needed some cleanup and a fresh coat of paint or paint remover to make it into the house, but the labor of love added to the few dollars to purchase made them ours. The best luck for furniture was when I was looking for a dresser. We were late getting to the market and I was sure all of the best deals were gone for the day, but, I found a nice dresser that would do well and it was just $35--oh, and by the way, the bed goes with it!! I like the way it looks in my guest room.

One time I needed a table with some drawers for our bathroom. It was a cozy space in our tiny bathroom and our money was limited. I said a prayer and was off to see what I could find. It was $5, painted orange and at one time had a twin and a mirror, but the dressing table console with two drawers would be the perfect fit after a bit of paint was removed. Later it served as a night table in the bedroom, now it sports a white coat of paint and stands proud in my sewing room holding specialty threads and do-dads.

I enjoyed going to the Rodium with my parents and grandparents when I was young. It was a drive-in theater at night that served as a swap meet during daylight hours on the weekend. It is still in operation as a swap meet almost everyday in Southern California. When I get out west to visit, my Aunt Zella and I still enjoy a walk around the Rodium looking for the best deal of the day. With her I have picked up dinner napkins. table cloths, sterling silver, glass jars that have turned blue, dishes like grandma used to have, fabric, lace and buttons.

You have heard the saying that one man's trash is another man's treasure. Well I have found quite a few treasures over the years lurking under dirt, grime and some ugly paint. Now I am enjoying showing my grandchildren the joy of the search for the perfect item at the perfect price, a treasure in the rough.

Maybe in all of the searching, the best treasure to be found, is a memory that will last a lifetime.