Family

I had to teach a lesson at church on Sunday about the family. During the last few weeks I have had many opportunities to think on the subject of family and the work it takes to be happy.

My grandparents had 5 children that they were raising during the great depression. My grandfather was a plasterer. During the depression there weren't many opportunities for work. When my grandmother was expecting their fifth child an acquaintance of theirs came and offered to take the baby because of the financial situation in the country. They thought that they would be better able to provide during such low times. My grandparents thanked the childless couple for their concern and sent them on their way with their testimony that the Lord would provide.

My grandfather was a hard worker. He was a man of great faith. At the beginning of the depression he put away a few hundred dollars just in case they would need them. As the country pulled out of the financial mess my grandparents had consumed plenty of beans and had gone without quite a bit, but those few hundred dollars were still safely tucked away. Their family had grown in size and stature while enduring the trial and they were better for it.

I was the second oldest of 15 grandchildren. As we all started to come along Grandma and Grandpa made many efforts to keep their family close. Over the years my husband and I have discussed what they did in order to keep us all wanting to come back for more. They had a normal family with personality conflicts between the children and the new in-laws occasionally. Not everyone agreed with the choices that grandma and grandpa made concerning their interpersonal relationships, yet they had a close and happy family that chose to be together often--why??

Grandma and Grandpa were not perfect but they had love to give. They loved each other dearly and it showed in their daily interactions. They would dance in the kitchen, laugh and pray together. They did not always get along perfectly, yet they figured out how to solve their conflicts peacefully, reaching a middle ground where both felt an equal part in the marriage.

Grandma knew her role as the mother of the family. She nurtured her children, home and garden with love and tenderness. She was a master cook with the few items she had and fed her family well. She taught her family to work and pray and she took time to play with them. Grandpa was the head of the home and when he came in and suggested a ride in the car she would grab the baby and a diaper, round up the older children and off they would go.

Grandpa knew his role as the provider and protector of the family. He taught his sons how to plaster and that skill has passed through generations. He planned for uncertain futures and kept his family safe as the world endured wars and turmoil. He took his family to church and gathered them for prayer and scripture study at home. He was a leader at church, eventually becoming a Patriarch. He was a leader in their home, he loved his wife and children and was steady during tough times.

The children knew their place, they were to obey. They learned to work around the house and yard. They ate their beans, drank their milk and laughed and played. They helped care for their grandparents who lived with them. The boys learned to plaster and build, the girls learned to sew and cook. Even after I came along I knew that after a meal the women would gather in the kitchen to do up the dishes and talk and laugh. The men would gather around the TV to enjoy a sporting game while they laughed and talked. The children would entertain themselves outside in grandma's garden.

Grandma and Grandpa provided plenty of opportunities for all of us to get together; family dinners, holidays, camping in the mountains. We all went to church together and knew that our faith was the thread that kept us knit together in love and harmony. I am thankful for my mother who did not always enjoy the family get togethers, yet went anyway so her children could have the experience of extended family, she made great sacrifices so I could understand what family was all about.

As I gather my growing family around my grandmother's dining room table I hope that I have learned the lessons she taught about joy and family living. It is not always easy to have so many people together with all of the different personalities and expectations, but Grandma taught me that with hard work it can be done and we can be better for it.

A strong and happy family is hard work that can bring great joy for many generations.