Me and My House

I love to go to church.  

When my family was young I loved sitting on the church pew with them.

One of my favorite scripture passages has always been Joshua 24:15

"...As for me and my house, We will serve the Lord"

I am blessed to have a wonderful family.

My children have all grown up and they are all happily married.

They are working hard to teach my 17 grandchildren truths

I love family scripture study.

I love family prayer.

I enjoyed family home evening.

I thought game night and family dinners were the best.

I was thankful when Sunday came around and we could have a family day without interuptions.

Life was not always perfect.  We made mistakes, but we did not give up.

Now I watch as my children try to keep going in their own homes,

and pass on the traditions that my mother and father taught me, my grand parents taught them...

Back 4 generations and forward 2 more.

Life is good.....

......I am blessed

Every day we choose whom we will serve...

 

 

Family

I had to teach a lesson at church on Sunday about the family. During the last few weeks I have had many opportunities to think on the subject of family and the work it takes to be happy.

My grandparents had 5 children that they were raising during the great depression. My grandfather was a plasterer. During the depression there weren't many opportunities for work. When my grandmother was expecting their fifth child an acquaintance of theirs came and offered to take the baby because of the financial situation in the country. They thought that they would be better able to provide during such low times. My grandparents thanked the childless couple for their concern and sent them on their way with their testimony that the Lord would provide.

My grandfather was a hard worker. He was a man of great faith. At the beginning of the depression he put away a few hundred dollars just in case they would need them. As the country pulled out of the financial mess my grandparents had consumed plenty of beans and had gone without quite a bit, but those few hundred dollars were still safely tucked away. Their family had grown in size and stature while enduring the trial and they were better for it.

I was the second oldest of 15 grandchildren. As we all started to come along Grandma and Grandpa made many efforts to keep their family close. Over the years my husband and I have discussed what they did in order to keep us all wanting to come back for more. They had a normal family with personality conflicts between the children and the new in-laws occasionally. Not everyone agreed with the choices that grandma and grandpa made concerning their interpersonal relationships, yet they had a close and happy family that chose to be together often--why??

Grandma and Grandpa were not perfect but they had love to give. They loved each other dearly and it showed in their daily interactions. They would dance in the kitchen, laugh and pray together. They did not always get along perfectly, yet they figured out how to solve their conflicts peacefully, reaching a middle ground where both felt an equal part in the marriage.

Grandma knew her role as the mother of the family. She nurtured her children, home and garden with love and tenderness. She was a master cook with the few items she had and fed her family well. She taught her family to work and pray and she took time to play with them. Grandpa was the head of the home and when he came in and suggested a ride in the car she would grab the baby and a diaper, round up the older children and off they would go.

Grandpa knew his role as the provider and protector of the family. He taught his sons how to plaster and that skill has passed through generations. He planned for uncertain futures and kept his family safe as the world endured wars and turmoil. He took his family to church and gathered them for prayer and scripture study at home. He was a leader at church, eventually becoming a Patriarch. He was a leader in their home, he loved his wife and children and was steady during tough times.

The children knew their place, they were to obey. They learned to work around the house and yard. They ate their beans, drank their milk and laughed and played. They helped care for their grandparents who lived with them. The boys learned to plaster and build, the girls learned to sew and cook. Even after I came along I knew that after a meal the women would gather in the kitchen to do up the dishes and talk and laugh. The men would gather around the TV to enjoy a sporting game while they laughed and talked. The children would entertain themselves outside in grandma's garden.

Grandma and Grandpa provided plenty of opportunities for all of us to get together; family dinners, holidays, camping in the mountains. We all went to church together and knew that our faith was the thread that kept us knit together in love and harmony. I am thankful for my mother who did not always enjoy the family get togethers, yet went anyway so her children could have the experience of extended family, she made great sacrifices so I could understand what family was all about.

As I gather my growing family around my grandmother's dining room table I hope that I have learned the lessons she taught about joy and family living. It is not always easy to have so many people together with all of the different personalities and expectations, but Grandma taught me that with hard work it can be done and we can be better for it.

A strong and happy family is hard work that can bring great joy for many generations.

Cynthia Cluff

When my parents were newly married my father joined the Navy and was sent to Oak Harbor, Washington to serve on Whidbey Island. That is where I was born. My father's sister and her husband were also newly married. My uncle was in the Army and they were also sent to Washington. That is where my cousin was born, just 25 days before me.

Cynthia and I were fast friends. Our mothers dressed us alike and for our entire lives we always had a lot in common. After the service my father took our family home to California. Cynthia went with her parents to Arizona. She and her brother would come at least once a year to visit. As we got older and able to read and write we became pen pals, writing to each other of experiences we shared in our young lives.

Cynthia was 10 when tragedy struck and her mother died. Cynthia's life would be altered forever. Aunt Peggy was a happy person. She loved her husband and children. She enjoyed being a wife, mother and homemaker. She sewed, cooked and always had a smile on her face. Her life was cut short by breast cancer.

Uncle Milford quickly married again to a young widow with two children. It was not a marriage of love, but of necessity and companionship for two young widows with a need--hers for support and care--his for two young motherless children. The family continued to grow--5 more children were added to the union. In this large family Isabel ruled with order and firmness. Each child had a responsibility--Cynthia became quite the seamstress, making clothes for the entire family. Other daughters did the cooking and cleaning--each had a specific assignment. The three boys kept up the mini farm with their father. If it was not a home of love it was certainly a house of order.

Cynthia and I kept in touch. Her visits to California were more seldom, but we still wrote letters. We were both married quite young at the age of 18, me in March, Cynthia in May. Our first babies were born a year later, hers in May, mine in July. Our next three children all came along in quick succession totaling four children each, all under 4 years old. Cynthia and I loved to get together and discuss our crazy lives--being newly wed (5 years) and having 4 children was quite the challenge--it was good to have a friend who understood what I was living.

As the years progressed the lack of maternal attention started to show in Cynthia's life. Her postpartum depression increased after each baby. She had her fifth baby when my sixth was born. This time I don't think she ever recovered. When we would get together and visit I felt like she had the personality she inherited from her mother peeking out and it would clash with the training of her step mother. It was like she had two opposite personalities dwelling in the same person and she did not know how to let them live peacefully together. Our families were young and large. We were young--under 30 years old and married just over 10 years. As I read back over my journal entries of those years I am reminded of how difficult everyday living was.

Soon Cynthia could not handle it any longer and walked away from her husband and family. She walked away from her parents and siblings. She started pursuing an interest in acting and enjoyed community theater. She met and married Joe Sorensen, changed her name to Amber Dawn and started her life again in a quiet, solitary way. She kept minimal contact with our grandmother. For over 20 years I had very little knowledge of where she was and how she was dong. In the last five years I occasionally made an effort to find her but met dead ends or non returns on my efforts.

Last summer I decided to try again. I left a message on the answering machine, but unlike in times past, a few days later my call was returned. Amber and I talked every few weeks over the course of the next 9 months. We caught up on all of the lost years. She had reunited with her children one by one. She was a happy grandmother busy crocheting blankets for each of her grandchildren. She and Joe had made a happy life together. She, like her mother was dying of breast cancer.

We still had a lot in common. She told me she always thought of me as a sister. I must admit our bond was close and I too had those same feelings. I missed our companionship during those middle years as she floundered trying to figure out who she was--torn between the teachings of a step mother and the inborn creative personality of her natural mother.

I asked why she chose her new name and she answered it represented a bright new beginning. She was born Cynthia Cluff, daughter of Milford Cluff and Peggy Kidman. She married Stan Thompson in her youth and together they had 5 children: Jared, Tenay, Kendra, Tesha, and Ryan. She finished her life as Amber Dawn, married for 25 years to Joseph Sorensen. She was happy and content. She passed away April 28th after a 3 year battle with breast cancer.

Today Amber would have been 57 years old. Happy Birthday, Cynthia. I love you and pray you are finding peace in your mother's arms.

Mark

The last birthday entry for Birthday Week in December is for my brother, Mark.

Mark was born just 17 months after me and our little sister just 18 months after him--my mother had her hands full with 3 little ones under 3.

Mark is a hard worker. He built a road on my parents property that has a pretty bend to it. He also moved boulders around the back of the house area creating a rock staircase and a pretty visual separation from yard area and natural acreage. He helped lay the wood floor and do the tile work in the kitchen. Mom is quite pleased with the pretty things he did for her new house.

Mark has always had a tender heart. He has always been kind to his friends and a friend to the friendless. Sometimes he is a bit gruff--I think that is to protect his tender heart.

Mark got married this last summer. Shelley is a kind woman who brings out good things in my brother. I have not seen him this happy or content in years. I pray for their continued joy as they walk the path of marriage together.

Happy Birthday, Mark. May it be a good year!!

Grandma

Welcome to Day 4 of Birthday Week in August.

Today I take time to recognize my Grandmother, Beatrice Kent Kidman. When I was a young woman my grandmother was my ideal and in many ways she still is.

She was raised in Blacksmith Fork, Utah on a dry farm. She had a younger brother, Otto. Her parents were Nellie VanLueven and Jesse Clarence Kent. She met my grandfather, Lewis Rudolph Kidman, in Logan, Utah when she was 16. When she was 18 she ran into him again, they began dating and were soon married. They raised 5 children, my father is their second son and 4th child. I learned many things from my Grandma:

Never judge a book by it's cover: Grandpa was 12 years older and a divorced man in Utah, not a desirable situation to be in. He suggested she would not want to date him and she let him know she knew enough to decide for herself. They were married 42 years. They lived a very happy life together.

Use it up, wear it out. Make it do or do without: Grandma was thrifty with all that she had. She regularly taught me about lessons she learned while raising her family during the depression.

Where there is heart room there is house room: Grandma raised her family in a small 3 bedroom, one bath house. She welcomed all of her large family into that cozy home for get togethers. Even as a young bride with 6 children of my own I remember being welcome into grandma's home. There was always enough room and more for all who crossed her doorstep.

Laughter makes everything easier: Grandma loved to tell stories and laugh and laugh about plain old life's experiences. My aunts often remarked about the 'Kidman cackle'. To tell the truth I hear it sometimes at my house when the family is gathered around the dining room table telling stories.

Love makes the cooking taste sweeter: I learned to cook in Grandma's small kitchen. She always had cookies and pies ready to eat. Sunday dinner was scrumptious. She would get up at 4am to put in the 30 pound bird on Thanksgiving. Her mashed potatoes were heavenly. After visiting I was always sent home with a jar of frozen peaches for my daddy. I am still trying to replicate her home made rolls, served with melted butter and home made jam.

If a job is worth doing--do it well: I remember going to Grandma's to help her clean one day. My task was to dust the dining room furniture. I thought I was finished but she called me back and had me get under the table and dust the runners between the legs. Now that dining room table graces my home and when I dust I think of grandma's standard of cleaning.

Faith is learned: Grandma was a great example of spirituality to me. She could always be found reading her scriptures, writing thoughts in her journal, going to the temple. Grandpa was the Stake Patriarch and she helped him do his calling well. She was a wonderful teacher to both the women and youth at church.

Everything grows with a little love: Grandma had a green thumb and her garden flourished. I spent many hours up the mullberry tree surveying her pretty flower beds. The grand children flourished at her home as well, we grew up as siblings with aunts and uncles to discipline and direct, grandma to love and nurture. It was a happy home filled with love. I felt safe there.

Happiness makes the workload lighter: With her large family to cook for there were always lots of dishes to be washed. Grandpa would settle into his chair and quickly fall asleep while the children played and the aunts set to tidying up the kitchen. That is where I was, in the kitchen, listening to the stories, enjoying the laughter of women working together to take care of the task at hand. With many hands helping and visiting, soon the task was done. It was a joy to work together.

Grandma was born in 1904, today she would have been 106. She passed away in 1995 after spending the last 30 years of her life as a widow. I often miss her, especially when all of my children come to visit. She made it look so easy. I keep trying, I hope she is proud of me.

I love you grandma, Happy Birthday!!

Family Home Evening

Last night we were invited to share Family Home Evening with my son and daughter in law. They live on the other side of the city and we do not get to explore that side of town very often.

We went and had the most delicious and inexpensive sno cones at a little place called Pelicans. The line was long but went quickly, I guess everyone in that part of town knows what a great deal it is. On this side of town we have a little drive through from the same company, but it is NOT crowded. I guess the word has not yet spread about the delicious great deal that is right here under our lips.

Before our sno cone treat we had a summer favorite--a hot dog cook out. Our lesson was based on the scripture of the candle and the basket--hiding ourselves or talents under a bushel. As the evening progressed we continued that discussion about choices and consequences and I started thinking about my nephew that I am so proud of.

My nephew made some poor choices in high school and continued on that path for a few years after. So bad were his choices that one day we saw his face and name on America's Most Wanted. He had chosen some friends that were not a good influence, and opportunities to change his friends and actions were ignored. It was a sad time for our whole family. He was raised well and had loving parents, he just made some youthful poor choices with powerful consequences.

After the last giant episode was worked through he finally realized that he needed to change friends and to make good choices every day. The whole misunderstanding was because of the friends he kept and it cost him greatly. He made a giant step backward toward his youth and upbringing. He made new friends, moved and changed his employment. Eventually he met a wonderful girl and last year they were married. He now has a good job and a wonderful outlook. His whole countenance has changed. I am VERY PROUD of him. He is a happy man and I am happy for him.

I am so thankful for the opportunity of each new day and the chance to make new choices. Sometimes hiding our talents under a bushel is the poor choices we make and taking the basket off of our head and starting to think clearly is the result of major consequences for poor choices and a blessing in disguise.

Life is one round after another of choices and consequences with the opportunity to learn. Each new day is another chance to try again to make choices that make us happy.

The sun is shining today, there are chores to be done, grand babies to kiss and choices to be made--I hope I choose wisely.

It was a great Family Home Evening--Thank You

Father's Day

I called my dad to wish him a Happy Father's Day and to tell him how much I love him. It was so good to talk to him. I miss my daddy. He lives on the other side of the country and the miles are many. Talking to him I was warmed by his laughter and concern for me and my growing family.

Growing up I knew my dad could do anything. He could repair what was broken, he could build and create whatever was needed, he managed all that needed to be done. He led our family in prayer and took us to church, showing the way to spirituality. He loves my mother and showed it in the way he treated her and us.

When I married, he treated my husband with respect, lovingly teaching us how to be a married couple. He helped us remodel our first, second--every house--we bought. I always knew that daddy could make it better.

I am a lucky girl. I have a wonderful father. I have the best husband a girl could dream of. I have 3 great son's who have become amazing men. My daughters have blessed me with 3 sons in law who are loving fathers and kind husbands.

Happy Father's day to the men in my life. I love you with all my heart. You make me happy.

Happy Mother's Day

Today is the day we honor mothers.

I have a wonderful mother. We grew up together--you see she was 17 when she married my dad and 18 when I was born. Now we are both grandmothers. At the moment we both have 14 grandchildren. Mom does have 18 great grandchildren, with more on the way. She does her best to keep up with all of them.

My mom is amazing. She can create and do things that are so beautiful. She is never idle, if she sits for a few minutes in front of the TV she also has her hands busy crocheting, knitting, cross stitching, tatting--you name it, she does it. She is a little bit of a lady at just 5' but she knows how to get her point across just fine. She is clever and resourceful. Mom calls every week to keep me abreast of my family that lives so far from me and I enjoy our visits very much. I love to laugh with my mother. The most important thing she ever taught me was how to be a good wife. She is an amazing wife to my father, kind and patient.

A few years ago I was given a partial quilt square that David's grandmother had made. I wanted to make a wall hanging out of it for my mother in law. My mom helped me come up with a sweet phrase to express my sentiments, she helped do the cross stitch, my dad made the frame. Now the piece of art hangs in my home. It says:

Praise God for Mother's gentle hand
and love we cannot understand
Praise Him who sent us from above
the blessing of a mothers love

Happy Mother's Day to all of the mothers in my life, my own mom and the mothers of my grandchildren. You are all amazing and I love each of you. Happy Mother's day to those who nurture children, young and old.

My Little Brother

His name is Bradley Lewis Kidman born March 15 when I was in 2nd grade. Lewis is after my grandfather, Lewis Rudolph Kidman.

Brad and I had a lot of fun together walking up the Blvd in Yucaipa--going to the Chocolate store to get the boo boos--YUM

He liked to 'read' to me until we realized he was dyslexic and just had all of the books memorized.

Brad is a hard worker. He works with his hands. He has built a car and house from scratch.

Brad served his mission in North Carolina--Charlotte.

He works for the town of Enoch, Utah. Among other things he drives the trash truck. My kids always thought the trash man was a returning hero who came to visit every week. When I visit my parents it is exciting when it is trash day cuz Brad stops to say hi.

Poor kid missed his birthday in 1973 because I got married on the 16th. Thank you Brad for sacrificing for me. Love you.

Happy Birthday